You know how sometimes when your hand sneaks into your peripheral vision it looks and feels like some foreign, existentially detached object trying to subtly insist on its part-of-you-ness. And I’m all, nuh uh. This also happens sometimes with my nose and my cheeks. I’m less concerned about why this happens than I am with how to make it go away. Possible answer: drugs. But if that’s answering the question of cause or cure, who can tell? At least there’s one thing I never doubt: this is totally my penis.